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I want to talk about vulnerability.
One of my clients was experiencing a great deal of deeply internalized stress that was manifesting externally in painful physical symptoms. This stress came from a conflict between the need to express an emotional need and life-long patterns about denying these needs. The client didn't know that's what was going on, but I knew because of Obi Wan Kenobi.
You see, I get these ideas in my head when I'm working. Some of them are very literal, but others are quite obviously metaphors. Since they're my metaphors, I sometimes share them whole cloth, other times I distill them down and share them in a more pre-digested form.
In this case, I was struck by the scene from the original Star Wars movie when Obi Wan says to Darth Vader, "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine."
Cut to the chase, I knew it was about the battle over vulnerability. A definition of vulnerability is, "capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt." No place in the definition does it mention that one must be or will be hurt, only capable of it. We all have the potential for injury, but stepping into one's capability for wounding actually creates a flexibility, a resilience. Opening the heart and allowing oneself to be open to pain, also allows one to be open to deep connection. It also creates equanimity. Standing in a place of equanimity is standing in place of strength and resilience. Avoiding vulnerability is standing in a place of fear. Fear is never a place of strength
My sister sent me a link to the American Enterprise Institute (yes, I know) to read a diatribe from an Angry White Man. It is actually left me in that weird place where you are simultaneously wanting to go into the dark bowels of Hell to see what exactly they keep down there, and realizing that really, nothing good can come of it.
Anyway, the thing is, in one sentence alone, I found four grammatical/stylistic errors (pretty grievous ones). I mean the phrase "In consequence we have all got used to sentences where puffed-up words like "chairperson" and "humankind" strut and preen..." is so god-awful on so many levels. I stand amazed at the fact that anyone gives this man and space at all.
This just shows me that passion counts for much. I participate in a networking community/blog by Dennis Cass, author and cool guy. In Dennis' blog (or social network), he brings up a lot of great points for discussion about what is awesome, how to be awesome, and knowing you're awesome even when you're dismissed by others.
I was sure that I had read something about the importance of passion in creating your "calling card", that thing that sets you apart and introduces you to the world. (Oddly enough, I couldn't find this thing that I thought I read when I went back to quote it.) Anyway, I find that when I collect loose data and let it float around my sub/unconscious (I am always a little shaky on where that line is - maybe Dennis' book will tell me!), the pieces that match eventually click. The combination of these two pieces of data (the power of passion and Idiot Rant Boy being the two) has really given me a powerful understanding about how to approach writing and speaking about my work.
I DO care passionately about it, yet I've backed way off to the place of Clinical and Clear. Clarity is good (and I am a big fan of concise too, by the way) but I am contemplating how it can also be injected with Big Words (I intend that not to mean polysyllabic, but to mean words with lots of oomph! and large connotations). The polysyllabic thing is a trap I fall into when I'm teaching. I love these words because they can encompass so much or be so needle-precise, thereby allowing me to be concise (there it is again). I am finding that it can really distance people, however, from something that should connect with them on a gut level.
So, passion it is. I am always looking for a new and better "elevator speech" - the 45 second answer to the question, "What do you do?" That seems like a good place to start with experimenting with using words that express my passion for my work and beliefs.
There I am at the checkout line at my local SuperTarget (which did NOT have everything I needed), finding my attempts at conversation with the surly checkout girl being rebuffed. Tucked in with the gum, People magazines, batteries, and other impulse items is, oddly enough, a new Eckhart Tolle book! It is apparently the the Oprah Book Club book. I flip it over to read the blurb on the back and it describes the book as being about "how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world."
I tossed it onto the stack of light bulbs, apples, and the new hairdryer (replacing the one which caught fire this morning).
I am hoping I am catching the crest of this wave, not about to be swamped by it as "old news".
I've built an entire blog around this thing I call the Healing Presence, but what is it?
The foundation of Healing Presence is that the compassionate presence is a positive act of healing.
And that means what, exactly?
In my work, I have experienced the power that comes when I am entirely present with another. This total presence means that I hold no expectation, intent or attachment to the outcome of our interaction.
This accommodates the development of a place of compassion and equanimity for the other, creating a nurturing space for that person to process and heal at the rate and manner that fits their preference and need.
The amazing and beautiful thing about the Healing Presence is that it creates an experience where both parties are fed by the interaction. I am so energized by my work. I am often asked if I need to "cleanse my energy" or if I feel drained by my work, but if I'm doing it right there should be no reason for a sense of burn-out and toxicity.
It doesn't mean that I'm never tired at the end of a long day, but I'm not perfect, and it takes some effort to remain that present and attentive, not to mention the fact that each session is unique and I am constantly drawing on all my resources to provide the best possible set of techniques and abilities to respond appropriately to the individual.
To me, the most important aspect of Healing Presence I can share with others directly confronts the furtive, surreptitious dangers of the ego and of investment in the end result of our interactions with others. This is the place where Healing Presence can be eroded most inconspicuously and most dangerously.
I am blown away by how profound, powerful, important and subversive this information is. I firmly believe that it is incredibly necessary.
What about this concept appeals to you? What venues or circumstances do you think this information would be useful in?
I
n the last week and a half I taught 3 different classes. I have no idea what I was thinking when I planned it that way. This past weekend I taught two one-day classes, neither of which anyone had every taught before. There was no template for these classes, not even a guarantee that the information was going to fall together in a way that made sense, was useful or even worthwhile.
Turned out, they were well thought-out, insightful, logical, and infinitely useful. I walked away Sunday night knowing that I'm really good at my job, and I want to do it a lot more.
I find myself trying to think of things to teach, places to teach them. What was very obvious to me during this weekend's classes is that there is a great deal of desire and need for the Healing Presence work.
Sunday's class was a Practitioner Study Group where I brought out a group of seemingly unrelated concepts that I have had influence my understanding and practice of Ortho-Bionomy. My intent was to introduce these divergent concepts was to inspire others to being open to influences from other places in their lives. They included such things as Newtonian laws of motion, the movie "Cold Comfort Farm", and fractals.
Healing Presence concepts crept into everything I teach, but when they really came to the forefront when I wandered into Japanese aesthetics, specifically Wabi Sabi. Given the fact that both Wabi Sabi and HP have their roots in Buddhism, I guess this is really no surprise. Wabi Sabi is an aesthetic appreciation of the transient nature of things. It is an understanding that as soon as things come into being they begin to decay, and that there is need for the appreciation for the marks left by living.
I believe that by entering into a relationship with an old or chronic injury with an appreciation for the wabi sabi nature of it, it responds more readily than when it is approached in an adversarial manner. Consider that the next time you think of your "bad" hip or your "trick" knee.
The bones of the Healing Presence work have been forming for years before I even knew what they were. Last year the whole thing came together in a way that made me feel that there was enough information that had gelled into something tangible that I could start teaching it.
It was really hard.
I did put together a really great, smart, enthusiastic group of people. "Companions of Destiny" my friend Lori Palm would call them. They were great. They really challenged me and my information. I think they got something out of it; at least, I'm pretty sure they did. But the end result was that I realized how much more there was to do. I needed a break, but I wasn't letting this go. It was too important.
I was in a class this fall where one of the (very many) things we did over 3 days was sent intentions for the next 90 days. We worked on it, off and on, for all three days and I realized what an art there is to crafting a useful, effective intention for oneself. It's a distillation process which means reduction and concentration of ideas. I think the tendency is to build, add on to, and complicate our intentions as we attempt to make them more specific.
Anyway, my intention was to "embody the Healing Presence" at the end of 90 days. Not a traditional intention, I know. Not very specific, not customarily measurable. But it happened. How do I know? Well, partly I just knew. But I didn't know for sure that I knew until two brand-new clients showed up within 10 days of each other. After their first 2 appointments both of them said to me, "I want what you have. I want you to mentor me in how to be like you; how to have the kind of presence (yes, they said presence) you have."
These wonderful people are my gift. The one-on-one style, the conversational form of sharing this information has allowed me to develop a personal relationship with the material that is profound. I can, even more, embody this information. More importantly, I am distilling, clarifying the info so that it can be better shared with others.
"Why," I ask myself, "would you want to start a blog?"
I certainly don't need more to do. And yet, the busier I am the more it seems I get done.
What I do know, is that the development and sharing of this stuff I am calling Cultivating the Healing Presence is the most important thing I am going to do. Maybe ever. And having a place to talk it out, think out loud, and get a little feedback along the way is going to move this process along more effectively, more efficiently, and maybe more pleasantly.
What is shocking to me is how miraculous, simple, breathtaking and seditious it all is. I am completely intimidated by profound enormity and the utter obviousness of the whole thing.
Today I held another Ortho-Bionomy self-care class. No matter how many Ortho-Bionomy classes I teach, I will always be astounded by how cool it is. Watching my students discover how profound, effective, and simple it all is leaves me breathless.
Watching as they see how the way we've always been told things have to be diverge with they way they can be gives me a fiendish hope for the future.
