Hi Honey; I'm Home

I have returned from a trip at the behest of a kind and generous friend from Arizona. We spent part of our time at a resort and spa in Sedona located in an amazing red rock canyon. Yes, I did make some enso paintings; I even drew some in the red earth of the canyon. More on that later.

One morning I headed out to walk the trail running the length of the canyon and was profoundly moved by the rocks above me which felt like great benevolent gods. I tried to take photos, but it was not the best use of my time since my skill and camera were inadequate to the task. Finally, I decided to put the camera away. I realized it was getting in the way of my appreciation of my experience.

This led to an experiential insight. As is true of most insights, the raw material was already there, but my ability to appreciate the truth was stimulated by experience. I was able to understand that equanimity is to be cultivated not only around those things that are difficult or unpleasant, but also in relationship to that which we find pleasurable. This is not to take some sort of monastic or ascetic stance in regards to experiencing enjoyment. The need for equanimity comes in the attachment to that in which we find pleasure. These experiences, too, are fleeting and impermanent and by attaching to them we find ourselves unable to be present in the moment.

Being able to fully grasp the impermanence is something that can only add to the enjoyment of the experience. I have found myself fretting about the fact that my lovely experience will eventually end. Upon reflection, I realize what a waste of that opportunity it was to be concerned about the future such that it removes me from fully experiencing the present. Anthony Bourdain (my TV boyfriend) gave up taking photos years ago since he felt it did not do justice to his experience.

Have you ever found yourself in a place of unspeakable beauty, or experiencing an episode of profound bliss and found yourself grasping at the experience? Please share what that was like. What was it? How did it manifest for you? Where did you feel it in your body? Have you ever found yourself regretting it?